basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

jadelust:

when ur teacher asks whos presenting next
image

hirotu:

anime always comes first

foxnewsofficial:

eyelovecats:

foxnewsofficial:

sorry for jumping on the bandwagon but i actually want to see that john green film just to see how many cigarettes he goes through i want to see if he reuses the same one or at what point decides it’s time to stub out his unlit cigarette and take out a new one how many packets does he go through a year who else has he told about this what if someone asks him for a lighter why does he keep using her full name

Read the book

no

iwishihadafather:

If any of you wonder why I don’t put out original content anymore, it’s because no matter what I say it’s always met with backlash. I could post “this banana is so good I bet his parents are proud that he’s going to be my poop” and I get like 14 asks like “WHY DOES THE BANANA HAVE TO BE MALE!?” “DO YOU NOT BELIEVE IN GENDER EQUALITY!?” “CUCUMBERS ARENT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?!?!?!”

iwishihadafather:

And don’t even get me started on that triggering nonsense. And I’m not talking about a war veteran hearing gunshots, I’m talking about teenagers that are like “I used to get called ugly so now ugly is triggering me” like girl grow up get some vitamin D and I don’t mean of the wiener variety I mean get some sun. go outside.

phasellus:

pickledinsanity:

beautyfromtheraw:

WHY DO THE BEES NEED TO DRIVE

THEY HAVE WINGS

WINGS

dont you ever bring logic into this movie

if u fuckers even watched the movie u would know they explained this by saying flying is the equivalence to running and i dont expect y’all would be running everywhere like goddamn usain bolt instead of driving you wrinkled buttplug

theshinyslaking:

theres a gay joke here somewhere